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May 21 2018


i fucking love all kinds of mosses and those other tiny bitches… wild growing succulents and all… those are my girls..

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Cactus lovin’ cowboy alien

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@gayreinhardt bog ass

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the first nut kick

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blissey is just kirby’s mom tbh

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So you’re just putting dudes humping in your ads now

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I’ll be there soon…

#comingsoon #newmusic #newsingle #imintheband #studiokillers #cherry #dynamink #goldiefoxx #musica #musicvideo #audiovisual #partylikeitsyourbirthday #internet #love #ringring

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pink columbine.




I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.




lowercase is baby letters and uppercase is adult letters and no one will ever convince me otherwise

Thats Why Its Important To Give Each Word A Mom

Things I want in the next 5 years


- a stable job that i love

- enough money to live comfortably and travel

- a fulfulling relationship




Why don’t we get more women written in the “lovable asshole” character type

because people call them “bitches”

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three words that describe me

r u… a worm

long, wiggly and ready to get squiggly


Why in the literal fuck do social media designers think we want to see posts out of chronological order……what real human person on the planet earth wants to see that…..I’m so tired

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I’m not bothering to translate this so I made up my own story.



do you ever do something without thinking about it? Just like “haha” and then you forget about it until like maybe 5 days later youre faced with the inevitable and terrible consequences your hubris prevented your from forseeing? 


gandalf the gay lol 

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